If we could, we would.
But we can’t.
So, why bother?
Making those new year’s resolutions we drag out of ourselves every year, but maybe that’s the wrong question.
Maybe we shouldn’t ask ourselves why we can’t keep the resolutions we make each new year. Maybe we should ask ourselves why we have to make them in the first place?
We vow to be kind, to spend more time with our family, to be nicer, to think of others first, to be more charitable, to work hard, to save money, to do and to be a host of good things.
So, why aren’t we doing them now?
Why do we have to start each year by promising to do the things we should do always?
Because we are human, I guess. Because we are flawed and unable to meet the standards by which we would like to live.
But just because we can’t achieve all the good things we want to be, that doesn’t mean the standards are wrong, or that we shouldn’t aim for them.
Perhaps what’s wrong with new year’s resolutions is not that we make them, but the form in which we make them.
Instead of listing the things we will do during the new year, maybe we should list the things we won’t do during the new year.
Perhaps by not doing a negative we will wind up doing a positive.
Instead of resolving to be kind, resolve not to be mean.
I think not being mean is more achievable than being kind.
It’s a question of degree, which is important when attempting to change habits of a lifetime.
So, it’s — I won’t be lazy, instead of I will spend time wisely.
Such an approach is incremental, and therefore, more doable.
Doable is important. Doable helps keep us from giving up when we don’t achieve all we want to achieve.
Beware, though. this not doing negative things is amenable to cheating.
For instance, I could resolve:
• I will not take Cameron Diaz out dancing.
• I will not give Jeb Bush a noogie.
Negative vows, of course, have to have some remote chance of relating to real life.
Me, I’m going to start off simple and work my way up.
Thus, my first new year’s resolution is: I vow not to go see any movie that makes fun anyone who lives in North Korea — or has James Franco in it.
That should be pretty easy to accomplish, huh?